RV Station

There is a little lump of weight on my shoulder
Tiny squeaks of breaths swishing by my ear
A warmth pressed to the left side of my head

I push you slightly higher
My arm supporting your baby butt
My eyes scanning your back at frequent passes
Inspecting the tell tale up and down
To confirm that you are breathing
My ears straining to hear the air your itty bitty nostrils release
You startle and I immediately start shushing
Rocking
You sigh sometimes and my heart sighs in tune
Content

All of this reflex is second nature now
I am tuned to the pace at which you exist
I thought the feeling of having another life within me would go away after I gave birth
I am just now realising
It won’t
Because it can’t
You will always be a part of me
My eyes will always look for you
The purpose of my existence now will always be first to look out for you
Everything is second place
Everything else matters later,
after you

Oh how the tables have turned!